


Looking After

by Ourfandomcrazyuniverse



Category: StarKid Productions RPF, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid, tgwdlm - Fandom
Genre: Father figure hidgens, Other, alcoholism tw, depression tw, kinda scars tw, this is angst bois, vomit tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 10:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21014567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse/pseuds/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse
Summary: Hidgens is starting to get a little too drunk too frequently, luckily Emma is always there to check up on him and look after her father figure





	Looking After

It had become a habit for Emma to check on Hidgens every other day now. Sometimes she’d get a particularly worrying series of texts or calls and go over then too, but she usually tried to visit him at night time, that was when he got the loneliest. No classes to teach, not awake enough to write new music, just him alone. But for some reason Emma couldn’t quite place it’d become much worse this last few weeks, to the point where he was drinking himself to near death at least twice a week. And unfortunately today was one of those days.

Emma turned her key in the door and creaked it open. Half the lights were on, half off, with no reason or pattern, and there was music playing from the speakers around the house loudly. Emma recognised it as one of Hidgens’ pieces for his musical he’d been working on. “Alexa turn the music off.” She asked, hoping to be able to hear Hidgens or if he was awake, to alert him to her presence, but no such luck. It was dead quiet apart from the ticking of his grandfather clock and he was nowhere in sight; so Emma would simply have to go seeking. 

His house was massive but she knew where he hung most and she eventually found him sprawled on the floor in his music room, his back supported by the keyboard lain aagaint the wall, it couldn’t be comfortable, especially for someone Hidgens age. As she got closer she saw the bottle of bourbon in his hands. His jaw was slack, hanging open but his chest was rising and falling heavily. He was just knocked out. She exhaled sharply, at least that scare was over, before walking closer and squatted down next to him. She took the booze out of his hands and as she pulled his head fell onto his shoulder. With his jaw closed he looked more peaceful now, like he’d just decided to have a nap and Emma could try and tell herself that. Waddling over to a new angle Emma could see the silver flask in Hidgen’s other hand and sighed, bitterly disappointed in herself, this was much worse than usual. 

Emma leant down to pick it up when Hidgens arm swung out lazily. “HEY DON’T TOUCH THAT!”

Emma jumped back with a gasp, falling on her ass as he startled awake. Hidgens neck looked like it couldn’t support his head as it swivelled until he faced her, his eyes narrowing until a big smile plastered on his face. “Oh, Emma dear! Is you! C’monnnn in!” Not that the invitation was really needed any more.

Emma just kept on the floor a few seconds more, before she could brush herself down. She had to remind herself that Hidgens would **_never_** hurt her. Even when plastered he’d never done more than yell in her vicinity, not even at her. He’d never been cruel to her, emotionally or... 

“Emma isso gud to see you!” Hidgens drawled before looking over at his surroundings, not that Emma thought he’d be able to see very clearly. Hidgens spluttered a cough before speaking his mind. “I... I shoulda clean up....” He tried to rise as if to clean the house now but Emma gently put her hand on his arm and he collapsed back down again soon enough.

“Nah. No cleaning needed Professor. I’m your friend! You know I don’t care about a little mess.” She gently told him.

“Ha... my friend.” Hidgens laughed quietly to himself. He plopped the flask down finally and she saw it now, it was Chad’s, it had his initials on. Hidgens was very protective of it whenever she’d seen it.  
Emma wrapped her arms underneath Hidgens armpits. “Come on professor up you get.” 

Hidgens tried to help her by walking himself, but he really wasn’t doing all too well. She dragged him to the sofa because she couldn’t get him upstairs on her own so that would have to do for now. She just wished she could make him comfier as she lifted his legs onto the couch so he could lie down on it.

Emma took out the handkerchief she knew he kept in his left trouser pocket at all times and wiped his chin which had alcohol streaming down. “When Paul comes and you wake he’s gonna make sure you get all clean, okay?” She wouldn’t say this obviously, but he smelt not just of booze but of sweat and his hair was greasy. He wasn’t taking care of himself again.

“No...” Hidgens grabbed her arm gently as she lowered it. “I don’t want Paul, I just need you Emma.”

Emma blushed and stood up. Hidgens eyes were watery with drink but were trained on her with a sincerity she didn’t know how to take. So she was just gonna move on to help him physically first. “I’m gonna get your covers and pillows from your room.” She played with the longer strands of her hair as she spoke, not even finishing her sentence before turning on her heel to head upstairs.

“Wait no!”

His shriek caught her off guard, and she ran back to him. He wheezed out a cry. “Don’t go! I’m sorry!!” He called out for her.

“Hey, hey.” She kneeled down again and took his hands in her own. He rested his cheek on her arm and Emma could feel the slight drip from his eyes tickle her skin. “It’s okay.” She promised him. “You’re alright, I’m just going for one minute so you’ll be more comfy. I’ll be back.”

“You promise?” Hidgens asked, readjusting his head on her arm, or maybe he was nuzzling her.

“I promise.”

Hidgens loosened his already weak grip and let Emma slip her arm out, his head falling back down. Emma had already gotten to the first step when she heard him mumble “People always say that.”

No matter what good stuff- and it was all good- Hidgens told her about his boys, she’d kick their asses if she ever met them for leaving Hidgens like this.

She came back and lifted his head to place his pillow under it and he tried to help her as she laid his quilt over him. When she’d gotten that done she placed him on his side incase he had to vomit and tucked him in. “Okay professor,” she smiled tiredly to him and he fought to keep his eyes open. “-you’re perfect.”

Hidgens groaned and it worried Emma for a moment until he flailed his hand in some half gesture and told her “I should be taking care of you!”

“Hey no! I don’t need taking care of! I’m fine! And besides, you did so much of that in the past, it’s my honour to look after you man.”

Hidgens smiled fondly through wet eyes before leaning close to Emma to whisper. “Remember the gud ole days when you used ta live here?” He asked.

She smiled sheepishly and nodded her head, before leaning back. “Yeah. They were good.” She reiterated, feeling guilt for leaving him like this. She wasn’t sure if Hidgens could see through her wall even this drunk or he had been thinking about this topic too as he continued. “But you’re happy now. Happier. And that’s good!” Hidgens licked his dry lips, his throat sounding scratchier the longer he talked. “Emma I wan you to be happiest you can, and Paul makes you happy! So I should be happy for you! And I am! But there’s an evil part of me that’s not and I’m sorry.” He shook his head, disgusted at himself, his face up turned into a sneer. “I hate it and you must hate me.”

Emma shook her head frantically. He was probably one of the most and only important things in her life. “Hidgens I could never hate you. Ever.” She was very serious now, stressing the ‘ever’ with her voice and hard eye contact. 

He nodded, biting his lip because it was shaking.

“We all have selfish parts.” Emma tried to speak reason. She always said she was shit at knowing what do do when people were upset but when it was someone she cared so deeply for it just, kinda, naturally, came to her. “Do you remember when Stacey got literally 100% on the end of semester exam, and then I walked into your office and she was there?” Emma snorted to herself at the memory. “And I got really nasty and possessive over you at home.”

Hidgens head rolled for a moment before- “Who?”

Emma had to bite her lip down to stop her from smiling, and when she knew she wouldn’t she looked up again. “It was last year. But you’ve overcome it just by telling me this shit! That means you are good!”

Hidgens let out a long sigh. He didn’t believe that. “Emma you can leave tonight-“ but then his cheeks puffed out and Emma had to quickly push him to bend over so he threw up on floor instead of choking. She pat his back as he spluttered until he got it all out and she sat him up. “Okay we’re moving you to your bed. You can’t stay here now.”  
She draped his arm around her shoulders as she heaved him around the puddle and to the stairs. 

“I’m so vile...” Hidgens uttered. Emma grunted frustrated at the situation and Hidgens was just too damn tall! “No you’re not at all.” She promsied him sternly. And then Emma could have collapsed from relief is she wasn’t supporting Hidgens right now as she found a wheelchair he kept for reasons beyond her knowdlege, but that didn’t stop her squeaking a “Yes!” Luckily he had a slope in his massive house too, maybe someone he was close to who actually visited him used one. “Please sit still professor.” She begged as he slumped into the seat, holding the covers and pillows she’d collected from the couch on his lap. “Okay Emma...”

She went straight to sitting him in bed but as soon as he was down and she got the lamp on she saw his jumper had sick on. Emma stood up again, hands on hips, before tutting over him and looked down, biting her lip but held his shoulders steady. “Oh dear look at that.” Emma mused, like she was talking to a small child. “We can’t have you sleeping in that.” She very gently lifted his jumper off him and yeah she didn’t exactly wanna see her professor and father figure shirtless but it was for his health and she wasn’t a pussy. He didn’t even have the energy to lift his arms but Emma struggled through it. She had to bite down hard on her cheeks to stop herself from gasping when she saw how thin he was now he was bare chested though. His bones were all poking out, especially his ribs and he was deathly pale. She placed a hand to his head to feel if he felt cold but he mostly felt clammy. But worse to her were the scars, some much older than others, that marked his body usually hidden by his clothing. She was being very quiet and he hasn’t reaised she’d noticed so she decided not to mention it yet.

Instead Emma gave him a patient smile, before walking to his en-suite where she could drop her act for just one second, taking a shaky breath as she got a clean rag and ran it under the hot tap. It was still warm as she dabbed at his mouth and chin, and a little under his neck where sick had gotten too. “There...” she said as she wiped the last bit clean, looking satisfactorily at him. “All better.” She threw the rag on top of his jumper for now and held onto his arm as she crouched by his bed. He stroked her arm, trying to pat it at first but then his hand feeling too heavy. He stared at her arm as his eyes started to get wet. “Emma... you study so so hard and have a job, you shouldn’t have to waste your time looking after an old man like me.”

Emma shuffled beneath him, trying to move her head into his line of sight. “Hidgens you are not a waste in any sense of the word.”

Hidgens groaned, his eyes squeezing shut in displeasure till he looked back at Emma.  
“Uhmmmmmfh. Not that name. The other one!”

“...Dad...”

Hidgens smiled, happy.

Emma smiled back, half in it. She was happy- that was a shit way to explain it but the only word she could use- to use that name, but when he was only brave enough to ask drunk, and she wasn’t brave enough to ask if he remembered when he got sober... it hurt more than that word ever should.

Hidgens smile faded and he turned to her upset, sighing as his head fell off his bed to get closer to her. “Emma I... I try so hard... not to disappoint you...”  
Emma gently cupped his cheek and lifted his head back onto his pillow, leaning her arms on the side of his bed to make up for that space. She patted down a strand of his hair that was sticking out weirdly. “You could never be a disappointment to me.” She said, mirroring his words he spoke to her many times. Words that always brought her the utmost comfort. 

Hidgens did give a small laugh but then brought his hand to his head as if it had pained him. Squeezing his eyes he gently wafted at her with his other hand. “Go back to Paul I’m’ll be fine. I... I can’t have you worrying about me... it’s too much to ask of you dear it’s-“

“It’s okay dad.” Emma smiled below him, re-gripping his hand. “I’m just gonna finish up here and then I’ll be happy.”

Hidgens gave a lazy laugh, softly ruffling her hair, Emma leant into the touch. Hidgens tucked his hand back under his pillow, closing his eyes. “There’s a good girl...”

Emma kept a close watch, leaning her chin on his mattress and within seconds he was fast asleep, she probably would have to hit him to wake him up at this point. She blinked once more at him, to make sure he really was okay and her brain wasn’t playing tricks, then she turned around to lean her back against the mattress instead. She got her phone out and scrolled to her most recent contact, Paul. She had to rewrite her text a few times, but eventually got something she thought sounded good.

`‘Hi babe, can you come over pls? Hidgens is in a bad way again’`

She kept the bright message screen on, needing the light in Hidgens dark, scary home but not wanting to wake him, as well she needed to make sure Paul got the message. But within 30 seconds she saw the three dots appear.

`‘Of course’`

`Thanks Paul’`

Even though it was midnight he’d replied straight away. She knew he wouldn’t have gone to sleep and would have waited up for her when she said she was going over. He was just like that. What he wasn’t though, was an unnecessary texter, which is why it surprised her when her phone buzzed saying she’d received another message from him. She opened it with a frown.

`‘Hun... This is happening more and more and worse each time’`

`‘I know Paul’`

`‘Babe do you think it’s time we maybe got him some help?’`

Emma gave a small whine at reading that. She and Paul had briefly talked about it but she wasn’t sure how serious they were both being. But then again she had blindly hoped this problem wouldn’t be too serious. But turning her head and seeing the unconscious man she looked up to so so much twisted in his bed, skin taut around his bones and drinking himself sick... she knew it was bad. But all she could reply with, her thumbs shaking on her screen was  
`‘Please just get here’`

She draped the end of Hidgens blanket that fell from the bed around her shoulders and pressed her nose to it. She liked sniffing it, breathing in Hidgens scent that wasn’t masked with booze. She could also hear her breaths slowing now. She grabbed her phone as soon as the screen light turned on.

`‘Okay babe, as quick as I can. I love you x’`

She smiled, her thumb stroking over his profile picture because she really needed him right now. Just like she needed Hidgens. 

`’I love you too paul x’`

She closed her phone and placed it on her lap. Emma turned her head and saw Hidgens breathing softly, his teeth showing but his mouth closed now. She rested her face against his hands dangling off his bed, looking up to him, just like she always had. “I love you too, dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> wow first one that didn’t really have much of a happy ending, I hope you found it okay! Sorry aha. I have another alcoholic Hidgens idea written down bc Hidgens trying to drown out his sorrows over his working boys (and maybe other problems too) is something I can see happening, but I felt they were better separate so maybe some time in the future that will come out, but I have a tonne of ideas plus, my next work will be the next chapter of ‘I’m Still Me’
> 
> As always thank you for reading and any and all comments are really greatly appreciated 💕


End file.
